Philadelphia Venues and Worldwide Artists Connect
Email Interview with Mrs. Pain
Somewhere between the Moldy Peaches and Patti Smith there is Philadelphia’s Mrs. Pain. The petite songstress is political, angry, sweet and cynical. Armed with only a guitar and some recording equipment, Mrs. Pain publicly battles a myriad of health issues, but she never loses her sense of humor. Her songs feature incessant, streaming poetry that re-frames the world as a parody of itself. Her art goes beyond her songwriting. She takes nude photos of her self to mock American idiot Sarah Palin and ponders self-awareness on a growing Web site. She takes an unabashed stand for weirdness, but it’s not an act: She’s an open book (or blog). Her recordings can be found at http://freesalviatest.com/ , http://www.myspace.com/mrs.pain as well as http://youtube.com/user/TJackieBabe.
Philly Venues - You seem to talk a lot about being married to or having been married to Pain. What’s your relationship with Pain, as it relates to your music? Did you really have a brain tumor?
Mrs. Pain - Yes, I had a sizeable growth on my pituitary--the master endocrine gland, which is located in the middle of the head. It caused a slew of very disconcerting symptoms for several years, from daily throbbing headaches to mood swings. Meanwhile, I was simultaneously suffering symptoms of Lyme disease, Epstein-Barr, and schizophrenia, all of which were made progressively worse by just about every pharmaceutical mydoctors gave me to "treat" my illness. I was basically sick as a dog from the age 19 to the present, but because I'm generally so stoic (exception: when I am performing), the pain was, for the most part, indiscernible to most of the people surrounding me. I think it is safe to say that most artists make art as an outlet, a way of expressing emotion. I definitely used my art as an outlet for my pain--and still do--but I've become a little bit more upbeat than I used to be. A couple more things I should clarify: I say I "had" a tumor on my pituitary. The tumor was removed on Valentine's Day of this year at a Philadelphia hospital. Ironically, my namesake held true, and I had all of the worst complications imaginable from this routine procedure, including cerebrospinal fluid leaks, bacterial meningitis, and the accidental lodging of a piece of medical equipment in my spine which required additional surgery to remove. That--the second surgery--had its own complications, but by that point, I had decided to ditch the third surgery the doctors were recommending and go an "alternative route." I'm glad I did. Had I not, I would still be in the hospital...
P.V. - Between the blog and your YouTube videos, there’s a certain performance art aspect to Mrs. Pain. What went into that decision to make Mrs. Pain more than just singer + guitar?
P.V. - Between the blog and your YouTube videos, there’s a certain performance art aspect to Mrs. Pain. What went into that decision to make Mrs. Pain more than just singer + guitar?
M.P. - I'm not sure I would even call it a decision--it's just sort of what happened. I have been doing all kinds of art my entire life, and have never been satisfied with doing just one thing, or being just one thing. If I was just a girl+guitar singer-songwriter act, well--that's just not me. I think more deeply than that. I have so many ideas--aural, verbal, & visual. I tell stories--everything around me is stories. Songs alone cannot tell the whole story, so, to me, it would make no sense to limit my art to that single medium. Also, I always loved to act, to playmake-believe, and I never got much of a chance to do it when I was in school because I was never thrilled about the prospect of memorizing some play that had been performed hundreds of times before. So I saved it for later. And now I'm always playing a different character. Sometimes the character is the girl+guitar--but usually, it's a lot weirder than that.
P.V. - Your recordings are so different from your stage act. They’re layered and complex compared to the acoustic punk minimalism of your live performances. Is this an indication that you wish you had a band behind
P.V. - Your recordings are so different from your stage act. They’re layered and complex compared to the acoustic punk minimalism of your live performances. Is this an indication that you wish you had a band behind
you?
M.P. - It is true that sometimes I wish I had a band behind me. I hear more parts in my head than I can relay using just one vocal line and a guitar. When I record, I include all the parts that I hear, but it's not necessarily something that could be easily reproduced live either. If I am recording a track with two dozen different effected vocal loops made to sound like electronic instrumentation--well, I'm not sure that's so easily turned into an arrangement for a band. Also, when I play live, I often spontaneously change tempo, time, and feel of the music, which is hard to do with a band unless all the band members are really damn on point. It's possible, yes, and I could see a band coming into play in the future, but it would have to be the right group of musicians comingtogether at the right time for it to work well with what I do. Currently what I've got in the works is a collaboration which will involve my musical stylings coupled with projection of some visuals.
P.V. - Some of your songs are ambiguously political, while others are more direct (like your anti-fracking song). How do you identify, politically?
P.V. - Some of your songs are ambiguously political, while others are more direct (like your anti-fracking song). How do you identify, politically?
M.P. - On my voter registration, I identified myself as "tree party," my simple way of saying I'm not concerned so much with party affiliation as common sense. Right now, common sense would be to elect politicians whoare concerned about the well-being of human beings, and the environment--as the health of both of these is in pretty dire straits. It appears to me that political parties get in the way more than anything, and it's downright sad to see the politicians who are supposed to be representing the people of this country bickering among themselves like little kids and tricking the ignorant into backing them by using some imaginary moral high-ground argument. What the hell is wrong with compromise? And how about a few bucks here and there to benefit the people of this country, not just the big scary corporate entities?
P.V. - With songwriters who sing about social/political topics, I wonder if they’re trying to affect change or if those just happen to be the topics that inspire them. Why do you write opinionated songs?
P.V. - With songwriters who sing about social/political topics, I wonder if they’re trying to affect change or if those just happen to be the topics that inspire them. Why do you write opinionated songs?
M.P. - As I said before, I use my art as an outlet for my pain. There are certain things in this world that I find to be very upsetting, some of which happen to be political hot topics. That is not to say, however, that I do not hope to affect change. As I expressed above, the disregard for human life (and life in general) that goes on in our political system is downright maddening. I cannot help but raise my voice about it. Writing songs about some of these issues is a great way to get people who aren't aware to start to think about things, and to get people who are aware to start a conversation. As a Pennsylvanian, my hot topic right now is fracking. I've been playingmy song about it and encouraging the people with whom I speak to send postcards and emails to the governor informing him of their opinions about it. Corbett has said he wants to turn Pennsylvania into "the Texas of the natural gas boom." Of course he does. They donated loads of money to his campaign. But it's an outrage! Natural gas, once you mind its extraction process, is no more "clean" than coal. It's sad that those big money-makers can influence the average joe through their brainwashing deluge of advertising... And that's just the tip of the ice berg... I will be updating my website soon to include some information about issues like this, and tips about how to write your congress reps and so forth. Even if a person disagrees with me, I still encourage them to participate in the political system by writing their representatives about the things that most concern them.
P.V. - You have a unique diet. Can you tell us a little about it?
M.P. - I don't eat any wheat (gluten), eggs, dairy, or artificial things, and I mostly avoid soy and sugar also. This means I eat very little processed food. This is not just some statement I am trying to make--the aforementioned foods make me legitimately ill. Wheat and dairy especially. Perhaps you have heard about special diets being used to help symptomatic autistic kids? Well it's something like that. If I eat wheat or dairy, I get a resurgence of schizo-affective symptoms within a day... Severe mood swings and disturbing hallucinations are something I
generally like to avoid. This is also part of the story behind my use of the name "Mrs.Pain." "Le pain" is French for "bread," an ironic parallel in the context of my life. Bread, which was deified in the Catholic culture in which I grew up, ended up being a key culprit behind the demons in my head. Bread = Pain... For me, anyhow.
P.V. - What’s Mama Grizzly Bare?
M.P. - Ha... Well, Mama Grizzly Bares need to protect her cubs... It's just my amateurish bash at certain hypocritical politicians mixed with my usual quirky collage of ideas of the moment.
P.V. - You represent a particular brand of Philly weirdo performer. Are there any performers you see as contemporaries?
P.V. - You have a unique diet. Can you tell us a little about it?
M.P. - I don't eat any wheat (gluten), eggs, dairy, or artificial things, and I mostly avoid soy and sugar also. This means I eat very little processed food. This is not just some statement I am trying to make--the aforementioned foods make me legitimately ill. Wheat and dairy especially. Perhaps you have heard about special diets being used to help symptomatic autistic kids? Well it's something like that. If I eat wheat or dairy, I get a resurgence of schizo-affective symptoms within a day... Severe mood swings and disturbing hallucinations are something I
generally like to avoid. This is also part of the story behind my use of the name "Mrs.Pain." "Le pain" is French for "bread," an ironic parallel in the context of my life. Bread, which was deified in the Catholic culture in which I grew up, ended up being a key culprit behind the demons in my head. Bread = Pain... For me, anyhow.
P.V. - What’s Mama Grizzly Bare?
M.P. - Ha... Well, Mama Grizzly Bares need to protect her cubs... It's just my amateurish bash at certain hypocritical politicians mixed with my usual quirky collage of ideas of the moment.
P.V. - You represent a particular brand of Philly weirdo performer. Are there any performers you see as contemporaries?
M.P. - Well... I'm not sure I've got an objective enough view of my own brand of weirdo to make a good judgment on this one, but I'll keep an ear out for rumors...
P.V. - Some of your songs have a comedic aspect to them too. Not just lyrically, but in your vocal flourishes, whistles and spoken parts. Do you intentionally try to offset your biting commentary with a little humor? Isit an attempt to come off as not overly sincere?
M.P. - I kind of do it automatically. I'd say it parallels the way I talk, the way I am offstage... I'm not going to lie, lately my life's been a shit show, being in and out of the hospital a few times and all that jazz--and even in the most dire of situations I still have to laugh, I still have to poke fun at myself and my crazy life. I see people around me sometimes who are extremely depressed when there's really nothing seriously wrong with their lives. So my aim in adding a comedic aspect into what I say and do is to send the message: "Hey, my life's a shitshow, and I can still laugh about it... Why don't you try too?" I just want people to lighten up. Sure, it's hard sometimes, but it's all subjective. It's only as bad as you think it is. Then when you don't think it can get any worse, and it does, well, that's the stuff of comedy. Relish it.
P.V. - What's next for Mrs. Pain? Any plans to record new material or are you sticking to giving away your material online?
M.P. - I'm always writing and recording new material. I think last year I wrote/recorded between 130 and 150 songs, not most of which are online. Right now I'm working on getting together some live recordings to forminto an album. Even the songs I have recorded versions of are completely different live, so that means I've got tons of material from this year that I have not even yet tapped into in the studio--plus the new stuff I'm writing all the time. Honestly, I can't even keep up with myself sometimes. I start trying to practice my set then I play something wrong and think, ooh, this sounds nice... And I just get carried away writing something else. Anyway, now I'm working on the live stuff, and getting that recorded, and trying to improve my focus. I'm also working more on upping my business/promo game--with a lot of help from my collaborator/friend/film crew Brian Bruno, among other associates. I call our budding creative collaboration, "Free Salvia Test" (hence the name of my website), and I'm fairly certain it's only going to get weirder from here...
-Billy Kekevian (Philly Venues Contributor)
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